TheDiscipleMD

In 2012, my wife and I traveled to the heart of New York City to celebrate the wedding anniversary of her sister and her husband. They were visiting New York from Portland, Oregon. For me, the highlight and most insightful moment of the night came late in the evening, after dinner, when the four of us sat around in the hotel room and talked. They were both sitting on the bed, and my wife and I were across the room. She was in a comfortable chair, and I was stretched out on the couch. At some point in the conversation, my wife took over, and she was doing most of the talking. Anyone who knows me can testify that it is a rarity, as I tend to dominate conversations. But as I sat there listening and looking at her, I marveled at how lucky I had been to have her by my side all these years. My mind wandered back to the earlier events of the evening.

We had left Maryland earlier that day and gotten caught on the New Jersey Turnpike in a massive traffic jam due to an accident. Normally, I would be upset, but I had my best friend in the car, and I just enjoyed being with her. She’s a wonderful car buddy! We got lost a number of times, even with a GPS, and going through the Lincoln Tunnel into the city took forever. After getting through the tunnel, I found myself driving with some of the craziest people known to man. At one point, I took a left in front of a couple of taxis that didn’t slow down for me to cross.  The screams of my wife still resound in my ears. I almost killed two pedestrians in a crosswalk and got cursed out in several languages I didn’t understand. I finally pulled into a garage, with beads of sweat dripping down my face, several blocks short of the hotel where my sister-in-law was staying.

Now, here’s the thing. I walked several blocks with my wife holding onto my arm so she wouldn’t catch her high heels in a street grate. It’s the most grated city on earth. I don’t know; there’s something special about your wife wanting to hold onto your arm when you walk.  It’s like your manhood soars! We arrived at the hotel, and the four of us took a cab to the restaurant. On the way, she asks me if I remembered to take some pain medication for the dental work I just had. When I say “No”, she pulls out the pill from her purse and gives it to me. At dinner, like normal, I look to her to order. I held my menu out and said,  “Hey, Honey, do you think I would like this?” as I pointed to something on the menu. She knows me so well. She responded, “No, that has a red sauce. You won’t like it. Do you want me to order for you”? “Yes,” I said, then I relaxed because she always gets it right. She’s a perfect lady all night. On the cab ride back to the hotel, I sit between her and her sister. It’s almost like I’m not there. They both lean across me and talk and laugh. I don’t mind a bit. I love my wife’s laugh; her sister’s laugh sounds just like hers. They are both giggling about the crazy drivers of New York City. I love it when my wife is having fun.

So there I am, watching her talk in the hotel room. She’s as beautiful as the day we met. Later that night, on the drive out of the city, we are talking, and in the middle of our conversation, I ask her a question, and she doesn’t answer. I look over and as the lights of the city fall on and off her face I can see she has fallen asleep. I drive for an hour or so before I know I need to find a place to stay for the night. As I pull off the freeway my wife wakes up momentarily and asks what I am doing. When I tell her I am finding a hotel because I am tired she softly says, “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.” I tell her it’s ok.

My marriage is not perfect, no one’s is! But its divine nature and destiny reveal itself more frequently to me the longer I live it! I am reminded of a conversation my wife had with the girlfriend of one of my sons. We were gathered as a family for the holidays a few years ago. I guess this young lady was watching how my wife and I interacted.  Near the close of the night she said to my wife, “I want him, (pointing to my son), to be more like him. (pointing to me)”  My wife responded with this classic statement. “Oh, he didn’t come that way…I had to train him.”

While comical, my wife’s statement has a lot of truth to it. We came here to be “trained” as married couples because it is the pattern of the eternities.  We are in marriage training while on this earth! The more couples align themselves with the heavenly pattern, the more divine their marriage becomes! That usually takes time.

I thought I loved my wife all those years ago but I didn’t have a clue as to what love really was. So, for me, only puzzle is how a common man like me, got lucky enough to marry such an extraordinary woman like her. How divine!