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TheDiscipleMD

Many years ago I held an interview with an elderly woman who had lost her husband several years before to cancer. Her spouse had served faithfully in various callings and positions in the church throughout his entire life. Some of those callings had required great time and sacrifice on their part. I knew of her husband since my teen years. During the interview I spoke fondly of the memories I had of interacting with her husband throughout the years. As I did so her eyes began to well up with tears and the more I talked the more she cried. Feeling bad that I had made her so emotional, I handed her a tissue and apologized for bringing up the subject of her husband. She softly wept for some time, all the while I sat there feeling horrible to have made her cry. After composing herself, she looked at me and said in a very gentle and kind voice, “I’m not crying about the loss of my husband, I’m crying because someone still remembers him.”

No one wants to live an anonymous life! For those of us left behind, none of us want to think our loved ones have lived “anonymous” lives. Oft times we don’t bring up the name of someone who has gone before us in fear that we might bring pain to the family, or spouse. Those were my thoughts prior to the above interview. But I was taught that day, by that fine sister, that when someone passes to the other side, it doesn’t mean they never lived. I know that, on occasion, when I see someone who knew my mother, or brother, or sister, that the mention of their name brings joy to my heart. A memory shared by them, lets me know that, though gone, they have not been forgotten and that their lives had an impact on others. Several years ago, a church sister that knew my mother well, saw me in a regional meeting. She came up to me and with tears in her eyes, shared a precious memory she had of my late mother. Then still strong in emotion, she hugged me. She held me tight for a long time. I couldn’t help but believe, that through me, she was giving my Mom a great hug of appreciation. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. My life had been blessed when she shared her memory. Her thoughts had reminded me of the goodness of my mother’s life and that I needed to live better in order to be with her again.

Loved ones that have gone on before us still live. They are alive and well on the other side of the veil. We are only left with memories of their lives. Sharing those memories can often serve as strength to those of us still here on earth. Let us not be afraid to approach others who have lost family members, and share with them our thoughts of memories past. In so doing, we will give meaning to the lives of the deceased, and make sure the family knows that their loved one has not lived an anonymous life.