She Delcared, “I’m Just Dating Him, I’m Not Marrying Him!” (But Later She Did!)

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TheDiscipleMD

I remember her standing up in the middle of the religion class I was teaching, and defiantly stating to her high school classmates, “I’m just dating him, I’m not marrying him!” But a few months later she did.

I don’t know for sure what drove that young lady to stand up and make such a passionate statement, but I suspect some of the other students were giving her a hard time for dating a young man who was not of her faith or values. But I found it interesting that an obvious truth that my mother had often repeated to me, played out in front of my eyes. It has now been over 25 years since that young lady stood up in my class,  but I still remember it, and the fact that who you date really is who you end up marrying.

I don’t know what happened to that young lady. I don’t know if she regretted her decision later in life or not. Perhaps she ended up being very happy with her decision; perhaps not. But the truthfulness of the statement that ‘you marry who you date’ still holds true! It also holds true that if you want to marry a certain type of person, the best chance you have of marrying one is finding one who is already ‘that’ person. Seeing ‘potential’ in another person is wonderful and sometimes it works out. But, the safer way to find happiness in marriage is finding someone who already fits your ‘qualifications.’

Many years ago Spencer W. Kimball wrote:

“Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. … Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless. [You] may say, ‘Oh I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a “fun” date.’ But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel.” (Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 241–42.)

There are many wonderful people in and out of our faith, and there are no guarantees in life regarding your companion, but the surest way to find happiness in marriage is to yoke yourself with someone who holds and shares your faith and devotion to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

“You marry who you date”, is a wise saying to remember the next time you contemplate saying “yes” to an invitation from someone you know is not up to your standards.

 

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