When The Last Putt Fell On My Honeymoon!

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TheDiscipleMD

As her ball dropped into the eighteenth hole she gave me a great big smile. I had lost by one stroke to her in miniature golf. Instead of being happy for her, I was mad inside because I had lost. I’d been shown up by my wife of five days, in an athletic event, of all things. After all my bragging of how great an athlete I was, it only took five days for her to embarrass me. And even though she gave me a cute smile, I didn’t return it, because….I wanted to win! And that’s the way it went down, on our Honeymoon at the “Old Pro” Golf Course. I still recall the feeling!

Now some thirty-nine odd years later, if it happened again, I think I would be happy for her…because…I am a more mature man. I have better learned to control my temper and emotions. I have learned that being a “miniature” man, is not the way of the Lord. It is the way of man! What is a “miniature man?” Well, to me, it’s a man who is “small” in character. It’s a man who lets little things upset them. It’s a man who thinks and acts immature. It’s a man who hasn’t bridled his short temper with the age-old excuse that it’s just “who I am” or “God made me this way”. Lynn G. Robbins once said that Satan is the father of contention and anger.

“A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.”

“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose! (“Agency and Anger”, April, 1998 GC)

There are many scriptural references regarding anger. All of them condemn it. Lynn Robbins continued with a powerful suggestion for us to consider regarding anger. He said:

“Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step in eliminating it from our lives. We can choose not to become angry. And we can make that choice today, right now: “I will never become angry again.” Ponder this resolution.”

It is a resolution that all of us should consider taking upon ourselves. Our lives, and those of our loved ones would be so much more fulfilling if we choose not to become angry. Most of us act, at times, like “miniature” men, by not controlling our tempers like we should. Looking back on my feelings that day when I lost to my wife in Putt-putt golf, it’s quite shocking to me that I was so immature to let something so minor affect me. Now, all these years later I still recall the feelings of losing to her. How unfortunate to have such a memory from your Honeymoon. And it didn’t need to be that way. I should have enjoyed the moment. I should have reveled in seeing my cute wife’s face light up with that “gotcha” look.

I can still see the look on her face when the putt dropped all those years ago. Now, I get it, but, like so many things, being able to truly enjoy that moment together is long gone. Perhaps I need to take her out again to Putt-putt golf. Because I want to prove to her and myself, that her “miniature” man, has grown up. Or so I would like to think. I guess I will find out, when the last putt drops!

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