This past week I attended the funeral of my brother-in-law. It’s the 3rd brother-in-law that I have lost in the last couple of years. I have lost 5 brothers-in-law and a couple of siblings over my lifetime as well as many other loved ones. Attending the funeral brought to mind a movie my wife and I saw a number of years ago. It was called “Waking Ned Divine.” The plot centered on a lottery ticket.
When word reaches two elderly best friends that someone in their tiny Irish village has won the national lottery, they go to great lengths to find the winner so they can share the wealth. When they discover the “lucky” winner, Ned Devine, they find he has died of shock upon discovering his win. Not wanting the money to go to waste, the village enters a pact to pretend Ned is still alive by having another man pose as him, and then to divide the money between them. When a state official shows up during the funeral the tows people switch the funeral to the name of another man in the congregation, Michael O’Sullivan. His buddy, Jackie, gets up and gives a speech about his best friend who is sitting on the front row. He gave a speech that connected with my soul. I was taught a great lesson by his speech, and I was reminded again last week, that I have neglected to make it a part of my life. He said:
- Jackie O’Shea: Michael O’Sullivan was my great friend. But I don’t ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew young. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I’d congratulate him on being a great man and thank him for being a friend.”
His friend sat on the front row and tears filled his eyes as his best friend said those words. What a moment!
And so as I sat at the funeral of my brother-in-law and heard his family and friends give their recollections of love, I thought how sad it was that I didn’t express to my now deceased brother-in-law my love and appreciation, and yes, honor of his life. Just the month before he had celebrated my birthday together with family. We held one last conversation about trivial things. As we parted, I didn’t know it was the last time I would speak to him in this life. Wouldn’t it be such a sweet memory just to have shared my love, honor and appreciation with him. But I didn’t and I wish I had. I wish I had that same conversation with all my loved ones. But I didn’t and at the funeral you find it’s a little too late!
So as I helped load my brothers-in-law’s body into the Hearst, I listened to my heart, and told myself I need to be better in expressing my feelings of love and appreciation to those who mean so much to me. It was a wakeup that was divine!