TheDiscipleMD

He is a young man, just turned 15, whose mother was a drug addict, and whose father has been serving time in the local penitentiary since his birth. As a baby, he was looked after by his grandmother, then moved from foster home to foster home till a couple adopted him.  However, this couple could not hold their marriage and family together, so he now resides with yet another couple.  Over the course of the year, I have asked him about his family. I can’t keep track of who is his blood brother, half-brother, adopted brother, or just a brother of another boy who is living in his home. I spent some time talking to him. Somehow, the conversation ended up being about families. He told me he never wants children. I told him he would probably change his mind as he got older. He looked at me and said emphatically, “No, I won’t. I would be a terrible father. I don’t want my kids growing up without me in their lives. They will hate me because I won’t be able to take care of them. I don’t want them to have the feelings I have towards my father. He was in prison when I was born. I don’t even know who he is!” I don’t think I have heard such pessimistic talk regarding fatherhood from such a young man. It was sad to hear him talk that way, yet his life experience had taught him to have such a negative outlook on fatherhood.

Unfortunately, this young man’s negative experience is now becoming the norm. Today, close to fifty percent of U.S. babies are born out of wedlock. Many single women are choosing to rear their children alone. I remember when I was a child, I only remember one friend who came from what they termed “a broken home.” The consequences of the “me” generation are now coming full swing. Marriage and, particularly, the role of the father, have been marginalized, leaving behind the broken lives of those who have listened to the Siren calls of the world.

In contrast, we have been taught the sanctity of marriage and the family unit. I was reminded of better times, when the role of the father was respected, when, while searching for something on TV, I came across the movie, “To Kill A Mockingbird.”  There has always been one scene in this movie that has stuck with me. Atticus Finch, (Gregory Peck), has just represented a black man, unjustly accused of rape. Although it is clear that the black man is innocent, he is convicted. The lower level of the courtroom, full of white people, files out after the verdict is read. Satisfied! As Atticus Finch gathers his papers together, the black people stand up silently and stay in the gallery till he walks out of the courthouse. Atticus’s daughter is among them and is squatting down on the floor watching her father. As he leaves, an older black man says to her, ” Miss Jean Louise. Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passin’.” The daughter rises as her father walks out of the courtroom.

Every time I see that scene I am grateful to have had a father that gained my respect and admiration so that “I stood up” when he was passing. It is sad to see the role of fathers be so minimized, leading to the pessimism demonstrated by this young man, of whom I have spoken. To resolve most of society’s problems, we need to look no further than the strengthening of the family. May we honor the role of father and of mother! May we keep our marriages strong, love one another,  and be patient with one another’s faults. As we honor each other in our godly roles, we will be teaching our children to do the same, and they will desire to have stable homes of their own.