Just this past week I am in the local grocery store picking up some cakes. I went to the service desk, and they call the bakery and they took about 10 minutes to bring the cakes out to me. While I was waiting, I asked the lady taking my payment, “So, how goes things?” I don’t know what I was expecting to hear from her. She looked like she was maybe mid to late fifties and she replied, “Well not so good!” “Really” I replied. “yeah, my husband had a stoke about 4 years ago and he no longer can talk or walk. It’s been really hard to work and try to care for him.” “Wow” I said. Then she went into a detailed account of the stroke, the ER team that came to the house, the hospital stays and a detailed account of the resulting physical affects of the stroke. “He now sits on the porch and waves to cars as they past by. He never would have done that before!”
As I listened, I was tempted to cut her off, or let my mind drift. Or let the thought echo in my mind, “TMI, I don’t really care! And to be honest, as a younger man I probably would have. But I’m older and I have a bit more patience because of life experience. So instead of getting upset inside, and perhaps showing it, I listened. I actually listened. As I did so I felt sympathy for her, and instead of being irritated, I thought, “She must really need to dump some of her emotions.” And after she was done, I told her that it must really be hard to be a caregiver of a spouse who is no longer the person you married. And she replied with a sigh, “Yes it is!”
I so admire the caregiver spouses of the world, who wake up every morning knowing that their beloved is no longer the same person. But what love they must have in their hearts. They is true Christlike love. I saw my father-in-law be the caregiver for his wife who was suffering from dementia. He did it for over a decade before my mother-in-law passed on. Once my wife said to him, “Dad, how do you do it. You are so loving and patient with her.”
He dad responded, “Well, what’s the alternative. I would rather have a part of her with me than none.” When she passed, he followed within months.
To the Caregivers of the world, you are amazing. You are outstanding! You are those who walk the lonely road in the mist of thunderstorms. You are true examples of a follower of the Savior of the World.
Perhaps you have trod this road in the past, or you are on it, or you are looking at it. May God be your companion. Look to Him, who is the giver of all strength. He who is also, the ultimate caregiver to the world.