TheDiscipleMD

It was the apostle Paul who wrote, “Lie not one to another…” (Colossians 3:9) Somehow along the way and through the course of time, ‘admitting it was only a mistake in memory by someone caught in a web of lies,  has replaced the confession part of repentance.  With repentance comes the obligation of those offended to forgive.  But when one doesn’t confess that they have purposely lied,  but have just been ‘mistaken’, the offended is left with nothing to forgive. Thus both parties are left with an emptiness and with little resolution of feelings hurt.

Many years ago I had an interesting conversation with my brother.  I was relating to him an event in my life from when I was a child.  The event was nothing to be proud of nor would I think it would enhance anyone’s reputation. After listening to my sob story he proceeded to tell me that I misremembered the incident and that he was the one who had done the dirty deed, not me.  I disagreed with him and to this day we both claim we were responsible for harm that came to another child that day.  Perhaps someday we will know the truth and when we do, one of us will have to admit we made a ‘mistake.’ No repentance will be needed, simply a clearing up of the facts. And that day came last week when a contact with the other party involved who cleared it up. When I told my brother that I was the guilty one, he laughed and said I guess I was mistaken. I didn’t have to forgive and he didn’t need to repent, It was just a “mistake.”

However, a number of years ago one of our prominent newsmen admitted he made a ‘mistake’ in remembering certain events in his life.  It seems that as the days went by he started having to admit more ‘mistakes’ in recalling things that clearly were meant to aggrandize his reputation and experience. No rational human could make such a ‘mistake’ in their memory. After a slap on the hand he was back on the beat reporting as if nothing ever happened! He is following a long time tradition employed by many of being caught in a lie, but saying it was only a ‘mistake’ and that they ‘misremembered.’  To forgive is divine, but when admitting a mistake is just another lie, what do we do with it?

TheDiscipleMD

The decision that will most impact your life for the good, or the bad is in your choice of a mate!

I remember her standing up in the middle of the religion class I was teaching, and defiantly stating to her high school classmates, “I’m just dating him, I’m not marrying him!” But a few months later, she did.

I don’t know for sure what drove that young lady to stand up and make such a passionate statement, but I suspect some of the other students were giving her a hard time for dating a young man who was not of her faith or values. But I found it interesting that an obvious truth that my mother had often repeated to me, played out in front of my eyes. It has now been over 40 years since that young lady stood up in my class,  but I still remember it, and the fact that who you date really is who you end up marrying.

I don’t know what happened to that young lady. I don’t know if she regretted her decision later in life or not. Perhaps she ended up being very happy with her decision; perhaps not. But the truthfulness of the statement that ‘you marry who you date’ still holds true! It also holds true that if you want to marry a certain type of person, the best chance you have of marrying one is finding one who is already ‘that’ person. Seeing ‘potential’ in another person is wonderful and sometimes it works out. But, the safer way to find happiness in marriage is finding someone who already fits your ‘qualifications.’

There are many wonderful people in and out of our faith, and there are no guarantees in life regarding your companion, but the surest way to find happiness in marriage, if you are a believer in Christ, is to yoke yourself with someone who holds and shares your faith and devotion to His gospel.

“You marry who you date”, is a wise saying to remember the next time you contemplate saying “yes” to an invitation from someone you know is not up to your standards.

This past week I attended the funeral of my brother-in-law. It’s the 3^rd brother-in-law that I have lost in the last couple of years. I have lost 5 brothers-in-law and a couple of siblings over my lifetime as well as many other loved ones. Attending the funeral brought to mind a movie my wife and I saw a number of years ago. It was called “Waking Ned Divine.” The plot centered on a lottery ticket.

When word reaches two elderly best friends that someone in their tiny Irish village has won the national lottery, they go to great lengths to find the winner so they can share the wealth. When they discover the “lucky” winner, Ned Devine, they find he has died of shock upon discovering his win. Not wanting the money to go to waste, the village enters a pact to pretend Ned is still alive by having another man pose as him, and then to divide the money between them. When a state official shows up during the funeral the tows people switch the funeral to the name of another man in the congregation, Michael O’Sullivan. His buddy, Jackie, gets up and gives a speech about his best friend who is sitting on the front row. He gave a speech that connected with my soul. I was taught a great lesson by his speech, and I was reminded again last week, that I have neglected to make it a part of my life. He said:

• Jackie O’Shea: Michael O’Sullivan was my great friend. But I don’t ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew young. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I’d congratulate him on being a great man and thank him for being a friend.”

His friend sat on the front row and tears filled his eyes as his best friend said those words. What a moment!

And so as I sat at the funeral of my brother-in-law and heard his family and friends give their recollections of love, I thought how sad it was that I didn’t express to my now deceased brother-in-law my love and appreciation, and yes, honor of his life.  Just the month before he had celebrated my birthday together with family. We held one last conversation about trivial things. As we parted, I didn’t know it was the last time I would speak to him in this life. Wouldn’t it be such a sweet memory just to have shared my love, honor and appreciation with him. But I didn’t and I wish I had. I wish I had that same conversation with all my loved ones. But I didn’t and at the funeral you find it’s a little too late!

 So as I helped load my brothers-in-law’s body into the Hearst,  I listened to my heart, and told myself I need to be better in expressing my feelings of love and appreciation to those who mean so much to me. It was a wakeup that was divine!