great wife

Seven Small Habits Of A Great Wife!


Everyone is different so there are no sure-fire habits that work in every marriage, however, I share with you seven small habits my wife has that make her a great wife to me. I emphasize ‘small’ because all of them are easy to do, but seem so hard to maintain over an extended period of time.

1) When we walk together in a private or public place, my wife will often grab my arm and hold onto it. I don’t know why,  but my manhood soars as she seems to place herself in my care.

2) She smiles at me…a lot! How can you not love someone who is smiling at you? There is a warmth that exudes from a person who habitually smiles. How mad can you get at someone who bats her eyes at you when she has done something you don’t like? It’s hard to stay mad at someone like that.

3) She nudges me the direction she wants me to go, be it regarding physical, mental, or spiritual things. But she doesn’t shove me.  I don’t like being shoved. I suspect nobody does. I respond better when she encourages me.

4) From time to time she tells me I’m the greatest man she has ever known. I know it’s not true, but I like hearing that she might think it. Being told by your wife that she loves you is pretty common. Having her say you’re the greatest, or the nicest, or the most spiritual, or handsomest, or that you are the best at anything stays with you. When you got a wife who says that, you don’t want to disappoint her.

5) She laughs…easily! Nothing brightens my day more than hearing her laugh. It doesn’t matter if it is over something unimportant, dumb, or just silly. Hearing her laugh makes me think I am succeeding in making her happy. And believe it or not,  I think most husbands have that goal at the top of their list.

6) She looks at me when I speak to her. By looking at me she lets me know that she values what I am saying and that I have her attention. When the kids were little, she was wonderful to stop, look at,  and then listen to what the kids were saying. You can’t communicate love better than that.

7) She is affectionate! The world is a brutal place. When you walk out your door it is a battleground where your ego is being put on the line each and every hour. When I come home, I need someone there who will put their arm around me and help give me the strength to go out and face another day. I know it sounds corny, but her touch gives me strength and the courage to go right back out there and ‘fight the good fight.’ (2 Tim. 4:7) Without her touch, I feel alone in the world!

These seven small habits make a big difference in my life and in my marriage. There are many more, and I am sure that each relationship is uniquely different. Yet, as men and women we have essentially the same needs. A man and a woman, united,  can scale to great heights in this life.  At times, you can almost touch the stars,  and certainly a part of heaven can grace our marriages if we follow the example of our Savior by living a life of service and unselfishness.


The Battle For The ‘Soles’ Of Our Children!

A famous basketball player once declared that he wasn’t a ‘role model’ and that just because he could dunk a basketball, didn’t mean he should raise anyone’s kids. In a condescending way he declared that fathers needed to take responsibility for that. What he really was saying, in my opinion, was that he wanted to take no responsibility for his actions while basking in the glory and riches that came with his high-profile life. In essence he was saying, “Give me your money, publicity, and glory, but don’t attach any responsibility to it.”

Many fathers are sweating it out at some $15 an hour job trying to put food and clothes on the table for their families. No one is filming them or calling them a hero when they, or their wife, shoulder a 12 hour shift. Their sons and daughters are unaware that their parents have a hard time sleeping at night for worry of their welfare. Ironically it is the name of the athlete branded on the boys high-priced sneakers, not that of the fathers who are the one actually footing the bill. It is the high-profile life of the famous that is being broadcast daily on the television channels for all to see, thus the media has put entertainers, singers, athletes and others above the parents, by showering them with praise and adulation. Simply stated, they are made role models via our society whether we, or they, want it or like it!

This athlete was correct in one way; fathers and mothers should be striving to be the role models for their children. One thing is for sure, if we want the influence of the world to be less, we as parents and grandparents need to spend the time and energy it takes to reduce what we don’t like that is coming into our homes.

Even if our children are full-grown, the ‘Battle of the Role Model’ is still being fiercely fought. As parents perhaps we cannot compete on the world’s stage with these people, however, if we stay close to the teachings of the Savior, with charity unfeigned, I believe that our chances of influencing our children is greatly improved.

While we may never live up to all that we should be, we can let our posterity know that we are trying to model our lives after Jesus Christ. With great faith we can hope that by so doing, that as they grow from child to adult, our children will shed the footwear of the world and put on the shoes of the fisherman.


When ‘The Chief’ Is The Head Servant


Who is the least in the church? Presidents and Kings are not bothered with minor mundane things of the day. They symbolically,or often literally, sit on their earthly thrones of glory as their servants, or entourage, stand at their beck and call and take care of the supposed “trivial” things of life. They are too important to be bothered with such things. But in the church of Christ, those called to positions of authority become the servants. It is the Bishop who receives phones calls at inopportune times. He is the one called upon at all hours of the day and night and is expected to respond more so than anyone else.

We have been taught this principle in the scriptures by the Savior himself. He also said that “… he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.” (Luke 9:48) It is a great promise to all those that humble themselves and become low. Those same will be made great in the Lord’s kingdom.

“And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant” (Matthew 20:27).

This concept of being “chief” while at the same time being the servant, is important to understand when serving in the Lord’s kingdom. A call to lead is a call to serve, not a call to rule.


The Important Labor Of The Fathers


I read an article a number of years ago about a famous professional football player.  The article focused on not only his professional accomplishments, but his personal life. He was raised by a single mom whom he clearly loves and reveres. His father was, according to him, “nonexistent for most of my life.” He has had to foster forgiveness. Of his initial encounter with his father he explained, “The first thing you wanted to do was choke the…out of him and say, “You could have called. Could have offered any type of advice about how to go through this world? Now you want to give advice? No, now your dealing with a full-fledged man. I’m no longer the child who wished he would just show up to one of my games”. (“All consuming passion”, USA Today, by Jarrett Bell).

The above family situation is playing out all over the country. His background is par for many of our professional athletes. Yet, I noted in the article that he was described as “an unmarried father of six”. Well…unmarried and being a father is also becoming “common”. Of course “common” doesn’t mean good. It just means….”common”. That description “an unmarried father of six” got me thinking. Six children, wow? So I looked him up on the internet. It seems that, from the information that I found, that at least four different women are mothers to his children. From what I read, he is trying to be there for his children, yet he doesn’t live with any of their mothers. I don’t suppose he tucks them to sleep at night.

I don’t relate this man’s story to condemn him, just to point out an obvious fact. Here he hated being left by his father, yet the pattern had been set and it wasn’t a good one. A pattern he seems to be following. It is a pattern of least resistance and accountability. It is the pattern of selfishness. It is a simple and easy pattern. It is also the pattern of heartache and pain; of loneliness and destruction. It is the pattern of failure! It is the pattern that is set too often by todays parents for their children. Over the course of time I have discovered a few things about families that have broken apart. Often when the children are young, they love to be with the parent who allows them the most freedom. The one who requires nothing of them. The one who will allow them to self-indulge. Because, well, they don’t know any better. But when they grow up and become adults, oft-times they will recognize the “other” parent. The one who tried to teach and enforce rules. The one who tried to teach them integrity and bring them to church. In short, the one who really cared! Unfortunately, by the time they discover that, many have already developed some bad habits that are hard to get rid of.

When Moses went up on Mount Sinai and received the Ten Commandments the Lord spoke to him many things. Among them was that he would visit “the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation” (Exodus 34:7). What he was saying was that He was holding the fathers accountable for teaching their children correct principles. If they don’t the ramification can often be felt for generations. The Lord mentioned even to the fourth! That goes to show you the Lord’s opinion regarding the longevity or influence of a bad example. The same could be said about the tremendous power of a righteous example.

The role of father or mother is the most important role given to us in this life. Sometimes things don’t always work out the way we would like. Sometimes marriages fall apart, for various reasons. But when a marriage falls apart it doesn’t mean our parenthood should fall apart. It might make it more challenging, but the Lord will be by our side if we desire to do what is right. If we follow the counsel of his prophets, we can do the right thing for our children. If they don’t see it today, they will tomorrow. This weekend we celebrate labor and there certainly is no more laborious job then raising a family. May the Lord bless us all with the strength and fortitude to be steady in our parenting.

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