If Only I Had Married Another, My Life Would Be So Much Better!


Almost every decision we make in this life has consequences, be it good or bad.  None more so than the person we choose to marry and spend our life with.  Our partner becomes the mother or father of our children who has tremendous influence on their happiness and the moral values they are taught. Often our economic place in the social structure will be determined by the industry of each other. Indeed, almost all aspects of our lives are affected by this most important decision.

During the mundane course of life, a woman may find themselves pondering if she shouldn’t have run away that night when she was 17 and Jimmy was waiting in the car with a pocket full of promises and exciting dreams of far away places. Or a husband might be thinking, “If only I had married Janet, she would have supported me in my entrepreneur endeavors.” That kind of thought process is not only dangerous, but it is usually based on unknown circumstances and hypothetical thinking.

Every road in this life has it twists and turns but since we never took the ‘other’ road, we have never had to experience what it ‘would’ have been like to have made another choice in who we married. From a distance perhaps Jimmy or Janet looks like their life turned out great, but reality is not always what it seems. I am reminded of a long ago song sung by Harry Chapin.  In it he meets up with an old highschool girlfriend when she gets into the Taxi he is driving. They reminise and then when he drops her off at her mansion he sings:

“And she walked away in silence, It’s strange, how you never know, But we’d both gotten what we’d asked for, Such a long, long time ago. You see, she was gonna be an actress And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights, And I took off for the sky. And here, she’s acting happy, Inside her handsome home. And me, I’m flying in my taxi…” (Taxi)

Fantasizing that the road not taken would have been a road free of pain and suffering is just not reality. It would probably strike us as funny that in reality, our spouse is the “Jimmy or Janet’ for someone from their past. The better thing for all married couples to do is hold tight to each other, look for ways to smooth the path ahead, and learn to love the person we have made sacred covenants with before God, angels, and witnesses.


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