“The Girl You Marry Will Take A Terrible Chance On You!”


“The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. She will give her all to the young man she marries. He will largely determine the remainder of her life. She will even surrender her name to his name” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry,”).

Gordon B. Hinckley had a way with words and a way of communicating those words with power, conviction and love. Over forty years ago my wife took a “terrible chance” on me. I’m not sure it worked out for her but I know it did for me. I was talking with one of my brothers who, several years ago,  had a daughter marry. He, like most fathers, held a high standard for the young man who came calling for her hand. We sat and talked a bit about this subject and then he said that he saw in the eyes of the father of the bride that recently married his son, the same concern that he had for his daughters. He recognized “the look” and thought to himself that this man didn’t need to worry because he felt confident that his son would take good care of his daughter. The man who knows his son best should be his father. But it dawned on him that the bride’s father didn’t know his son like he did.  Time was needed for his son to gain his new father-in-laws confidence. Respect is most often earned over time.

In the same talk Hinckley went on to say these words.

“As the old Church of England ceremony says, you will marry her “for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.” She will be yours and yours alone, regardless of the circumstances of your lives. You will be hers and hers alone. There can be eyes for none other. There must be absolute loyalty, undeviating loyalty one to another. Hopefully you will marry her forever, in the house of the Lord, under the authority of the everlasting priesthood. Through all the days of your lives, you must be as true one to another as the polar star.”

The polar star is also known as the North Star, known for centuries by mariners as something you can depend on and trust. There is something quite remarkable about a couple that has built their marriage on trust. In that kind of union the two are at peace.  They never wonder about the who, the what,  and the whereabouts of their spouse because they know he or she is doing the right thing and can be found in righteous places. Fear and anger haunt those who cannot trust their mate as suspicion and uneasiness are tightly interwoven into the already complex nature of the marriage relationship.

May all of us ‘be true to one another as the polar star!  May we husbands be the kind of men we would want to see come courting our beautiful daughters. In so doing we will be listening to a prophets voice and taking advantage of and receiving all the blessings that God has in store for us in the wonderful world of marriage. Another man, who gave us his precious daughter, is counting on it!

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